Making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. In fact, if you’re not making mistakes, you’re probably not trying hard enough. However, learning from mistakes is what sets successful people apart from others. So how can you learn to learn from your mistakes? Here are some expert tips.
Author of the book Rising Strong, Brené Brown describes a process for “taking ownership of our stories” and learning from our mistakes. According to her, there are six common steps in order to be able to grow and prosper despite our mistakes:
Step 1: Recognize that we made a mistake.
Nobody likes to make mistakes. We all strive to do our best and be perfect, but the truth is that we are human and mistakes are bound to happen. What matters is how we deal with our mistakes. Are we learning from them or are we trying to sweep them under the rug?
Brené Brown, certified professional coach, believes that recognizing our mistakes is an important first step in learning from them. According to her, when we make a mistake, we must admit it and apologize if necessary. Then we need to take a close look at what went wrong and find ways to prevent it from happening again. This process can be painful, but it is essential if we are to grow and improve as individuals. The next time you make a mistake, don’t blame yourself. Just remember this is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Step 2: Feel the feelings that accompany our mistakes.
Professional coach Brené Brown has spent years studying the impact of shame and vulnerability on people’s lives. In her book, Rising Strong, she describes one of the steps in the process of learning from our mistakes which is experiencing the feelings that accompany them. It may seem counter-intuitive, but Ms Brown argues that it’s important to feel the pain of our mistakes in order to learn from them. Whether it’s embarrassment, frustration or anger, only by fully feeling the negative emotions associated with our mistakes can we understand what went wrong and move on.
Step 3: Understand the story we tell ourselves about our mistake.
Sometimes we make a mistake and we blame ourselves for days, weeks, even months. But why are we doing this? According to Brené Brown, the story we tell ourselves can often be more damaging than the mistake itself. This step is crucial in preventing future mistakes, as it helps us identify the underlying causes of our bad decisions. Was it a momentary error in judgment? Or are there deeper issues at play?
Ms. Brown explains that when we make a mistake, we have two choices: either we dwell on it and feel sorry for ourselves, or we learn from it and apply it the next day. But to be able to make the latter choice, we must first understand the context of the story. For example, if we constantly tell ourselves that we are “stupid” or “not good enough”, it will be very difficult to learn from our mistakes and progress. On the other hand, if we manage to understand the story we tell ourselves and reframe it in a more positive light, it becomes much easier to learn from our mistakes and become stronger.
Step 4: Tell the truth of this story to others.
Sometimes it’s tempting to keep those stories we tell to ourselves, buried in the recesses of our minds. After all, who would want to be known as the person who made such and such a mistake? But according to Brené Brown, telling the truth of this story to others will pave the way for healing and growth. This process can be aided by keeping a journal, talking with trusted friends or family members, or seeking professional help. You’ll be more open to hearing similar stories from other people and looking at the perspective of what you’ve done with fresh eyes. This will allow you to arrive at the fifth step: Assume your responsibility.
Step 5: Take responsibility for our mistake.
It means acknowledging that we made a mistake and it was our actions that led to a negative outcome. It can be difficult to take this step and accept the results of our mistakes, but it is essential if we are to learn from them. Going through this stage, we admit that we are not perfect and that we are willing to learn from our mistakes. This allows us to mature, strengthen our social life and evolve.
Step 6: Make amends and forgive ourselves.
In an article she wrote for Forbes, Brené Brown describes how we often dwell on our mistakes and blame ourselves because we’re afraid of doing the same thing again. However, she claims that this “perfectionism” is actually a form of guilt that keeps us from learning and growing. Instead, we should strive to take responsibility for our mistakes, make amends when necessary, and forgive ourselves. Only then can we move forward with the lessons we have learned. Mr. Brown’s advice reminds us that mistakes are part of the human experience and that it is important to learn from them rather than dwell on them.
