When it comes to effectively communicating an apology, many people mistakenly believe that apologies are the same regardless of context. Unfortunately, that’s not true – how you apologize and communicate your remorse can have a huge impact on their effectiveness. There are several behaviors to avoid when apologizing, otherwise the words may seem hollow and insincere. In this article, we’ll look at 7 specific behaviors to (really) avoid when apologizing, so that your apology can more authentically and accurately accomplish what it’s meant to do: apologize for wrongdoing.
Not taking responsibility:
When you apologize, it’s important to take full responsibility for the mistake or offense you made. Don’t blame other people, circumstances or anything. Assume your actions and show that you are sincere by acknowledging your wrongs.
Do not express remorse:
Simply saying “I’m sorry” without any real emotion behind it is not enough to apologize. You really need to express remorse by expressing regret and a sense of sadness for what happened as a result of your actions or words. If you don’t convey these emotions, there’s no guarantee that the recipient will accept your apology and forgive you.
Do not listen :
After you apologize, be sure to listen carefully to the other person’s response and show them that you understand their feelings about the situation. It’s important to listen actively so you know exactly how she feels about what happened and learn from the situation to move forward. Avoid interrupting or trying to explain yourself further; just listen without judging or apologizing for your behavior.
Apologizing too late:
The timing is crucial to apologize because delaying apologizing can make it seem like you’re insincere and disregarding the feelings of the other person involved in the situation. If possible, try to apologize immediately after you realize you’ve done something wrong, rather than waiting too long for a reaction from the other party before apologizing.
Find excuses:
Although sometimes necessary to provide context or clarification on certain issues, apologies should be kept to a minimum when apologizing for a mistake you have made, to ensure the sincerity and authenticity of your statement of regret towards the other person involved in the incident.
Apologies can be interpreted as minimizing responsibility and shifting blame to external circumstances, which ultimately denotes a lack of sincerity on the part of someone claiming to sincerely apologize for their mistake or offense she has committed against someone else.
Not offering solutions:
Offering solutions or suggestions on how to improve a similar mistake in the future will help demonstrate not only responsibility but also a willingness on your part to further prove that your apology was genuine; such solutions might involve behavior change through self-reflection or even more open communication with others regarding their feelings surrounding a particular situation in order to avoid offending them again in the future.
Never make promises:
Making a promise and then breaking it is one of the fastest ways to break someone’s trust in a relationship. By never making a promise as part of your apology, you show respect for the person you are apologizing to and reassure them that your sincerity is real. Apologies can be complex and should often involve more than words, such as offering some form of restitution or committing to making changes. When a promise is part of an apology, it creates an expectation of sincerity – if you don’t keep it, trust in your words is compromised. Not making a promise removes that expectation, while transmitting your regret.
