Therefore, they can be very sensitive and overreact to the smallest thing. As a parent, it is therefore important to choose your words carefully when addressing your teenager. With that in mind, here are 8 phrases you should avoid saying to your teen:
-
“You are exactly like your father/mother”.
As teenagers grow up, they try to figure out who they are and what their place is in the world. They often look to their parents for advice and support, but sometimes they can feel like they are being compared to their parents in a negative way. If you catch yourself saying “you’re just like your mom or dad” to your teen, try not to. This statement may make him feel like he’s not good enough or that he’ll never live up to his parents’ accomplishments. Instead, focus on praising their unique qualities and strengths. This will help him gain self-confidence and feel good about himself.
-
“Don’t be such a drama queen. »
Anyone who’s ever been a teenager knows that life can feel like a big drama. From acne to heartache, it can feel like the world is constantly conspiring against us. Therefore, the last thing a teenager needs is to be told that they are overreacting or being melodramatic. Not only does this invalidate their feelings, but it can also make them feel like they are powerless to control their own emotions. When a teenager feels overwhelmed, the best thing you can do is offer your support and understanding. And if you’re tempted to say to her, “Don’t be such a drama queen,” bite your tongue and think about how you would have wanted to be treated at her age.
-
“I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. »
When a teenager hears the phrase this phrase, it may feel like a stab in the heart. It’s hard enough to hear that a parent or guardian is disappointed in you, but feeling like you’ve let them down can be devastating. Unfortunately, this phrase is all too common and it can do more harm than good. On the one hand, it indicates that the interlocutor is more concerned with his own feelings than with those of the adolescent. She also suggests that the teenager has failed to meet an arbitrary standard and is somehow deficient. Finally, she sends the message that the teenager is not able to fix things. So think twice. Expressing yourself better or explaining yourself more can do a lot of good.
-
“You are punished. »
It’s a phrase no teenager wants to hear. And that’s a phrase parents should never say. For what ? Because punishing a teenager is usually ineffective and can have such serious repercussions. When a teenager is punished, he is often isolated from his friends and forbidden to do what he loves. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and resentment. In addition, punishing a teenager causes conflict between parent and child.
Rather than resorting to punishment, parents should try to find other ways to discipline their teenagers. For example, by setting clear expectations and consequences for misbehaviour, or removing privileges such as the right to drive or use a cell phone. Punishment should be a last resort, not the first thing that comes to mind when a teen misbehaves.
-
” We’ll see. »
If you’re a parent of a teenager, you’ve probably heard the phrase “we’ll see” more often than not. It’s the answer to when your teen doesn’t want to do something, whether it’s going to school or taking out the trash. And while “we’ll see” may seem like a harmless way to postpone a decision, it can actually be very damaging.
Here’s why: This phrase sends the message that your teen’s wants and needs aren’t a priority. He indicates that his feelings are not valid and that his opinions do not matter. In other words, it’s a way to invalidate your teen’s experiences and postpone their needs indefinitely. The next time you’re tempted to say, “We’ll see,” try something else instead. For example, you can say “Let me think about it” or “I’m not sure yet”. These responses show that you take your teen’s concerns seriously and are committed to making a decision that works for everyone involved.
-
“Good, do what you want. »
When it comes to teenagers, this answer is never the right one. It communicates two things to a teenager: that you don’t care about their opinion and that you’re not ready to compromise. The result will likely be a teenager who feels ignored and misunderstood, leading to further conflict later on. Instead, try saying something like, “I see you’re passionate about this and I’m willing to compromise.” This sends the message that you respect their opinion and are willing to work together to find a solution that everyone can enjoy. . Ultimately, this is the best way to avoid conflict and build a strong relationship with your teen.
-
“I don’t care what other people do. »
When you’re a teenager, you feel like everyone is watching you and expecting you to make a mistake. So when someone says “I don’t care what other people do” it might sound like they’re saying “I don’t care what you do” Even though that’s not what they want. say, it can be hurtful. Teenagers are already under a lot of pressure: from school, from their parents, from their friends. The last thing they need is someone telling them their choices don’t matter. The next time you talk to a teenager, remember that they’re just trying to figure things out. Be patient and understanding, and let him know you’re interested in what he’s doing.
-
“Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. »
We’ve all been there. We try to give sage advice to a teenager, but he doesn’t listen. So we utter those fateful words: “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.” ” Big mistake. These words are almost guaranteed to trigger an immediate and provocative response. ” Oh yes ? Well, you don’t know anything at all! The problem is that teens are hardwired to push back against authority figures. Telling them to trust you will only make them sink deeper.
If you want to be heard, you need to find a way to connect with your teen on their level. Avoid using phrases like “when I was your age” or “you’ll understand when you’re older.” Instead, try to empathize with how they feel and explain things to them in a way that makes sense to them.
